System Status
Real-time bowel movement monitoring for all turd.ai services.
Services
ShatGPT Core Engine
Primary anal-ysis processing unit
Data Dump Ingestion
Raw data intake and pre-processing
Brown Eye View Dashboard
Real-time monitoring and visualizations
Colon-ial Pipeline
End-to-end data movement orchestration
Stool Sampling API
Random data subset extraction
Forma-turd Processor
Output formatting and beautification
Turd-Party Integrations
External service connectors and webhooks
Flush CDN
Global content delivery and caching
Incident History
14:32 UTC
We're seeing higher than normal response times on the dashboard. Our engineers are looking into it. The situation is... developing.
15:01 UTC
Root cause identified: a rogue cron job was performing unsanctioned data movements during peak hours. We've paused the job.
15:44 UTC
Latency returning to acceptable levels. We'll continue monitoring for any further... irregularities.
Status Legend
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Current response time: faster than your morning coffee. Avg incident resolution: 47 minutes. Total flushes this year: 4,206,900.