About Us
We started from the bottom. We're still there.
turd.ai was born from a simple observation: the world's data pipelines are full of crap, and nobody was doing anything about it. So we rolled up our sleeves (and our noses) and got to work.
Our Journey (A Movement in Five Acts)
The First Flush
Founded in a garage that smelled exactly like you'd expect. Three engineers and a dream to solve the #2 problem in tech.
Seed Round (Compost Round)
Raised $6.9M from Andreessen Brownowitz. Investors said our pitch deck was 'the most compelling crap they'd ever seen.'
ShatGPT Launches
Our flagship LLM (Large Latrine Model) went live. 10,000 users in the first week. Servers nearly overflowed.
Series A(ss)
Raised $42M led by Sequoia Sewage Capital. Valuation hit $420M. Forbes called us 'the most disruptive movement in AI.'
Global Evacuation
Now serving 69 countries. Acquired LogJam Solutions and Rear Analytics. Opened new HQ: 'The Porcelain Palace.'
Our Core Values
The principles that keep our movement regular.
Radical Transparency
Open stall policy. No secrets, no closed doors. We share everything -- revenue, roadmap, and the occasional overshare.
Move Fast, Flush Often
Ship early, iterate daily, never let things back up. Perfection is the enemy of a good bowel movement.
Bottom-Up Innovation
The best ideas come from the people closest to the problem. Every engineer gets 20% time to work on their own crap.
Leave It Better Than You Found It
Whether it's code, culture, or the office bathroom -- always leave it cleaner than when you walked in.
The Leadersh*t Team
A world-class team of engineers, researchers, and certified toilet humor enthusiasts.
Rick O'Shea
CEO & Co-Flounder
Former plumber turned tech visionary. Believes every pipeline deserves AI optimization. Left Google because 'their data hygiene was crap.'
Dr. Anita Dumpling
CTO (Chief Toilet Officer)
PhD in Computational Bowelogy from MIT. Published 14 papers on distributed log processing. Her code has never leaked.
Brad Pittman
VP of Engineering
Built infrastructure at Amazon that handled 10M flushes per second. Joined turd.ai because 'the pipes were calling.'
Flo Ryder
Head of Product
Ex-Apple designer obsessed with smooth UX flows. Her mantra: 'If the user has to push too hard, you've already failed.'
Beau Vell
CFO (Chief Flush Officer)
Former Goldman Sachs. Turned our burn rate into a flush rate. Keeps the books clean and the balance sheets wiped.
Dee Composition
VP of People & Culture
Believes in breaking things down to build them back up. Created the company's 'Open Stall' transparency policy.
69
Countries Served
$420M
Valuation
247
Employees
99.9%
Flush Rate
Want to be part of the movement?
We're always looking for people who aren't afraid to get their hands dirty.