T
turd.ai
PU 2026
November 18-20, 2026 -- Las Vegas, NV

PU 2026

Poo University

The world's premier conference for data movement professionals. Three days of keynotes, hands-on labs, advanced deep-dives, and enough puns to make your stomach churn. This is THE event for anyone serious about the #2 problem.

Agenda

Three tracks. Zero filler.

The Main Stage

KEYNOTES
9:00 AM

Opening Keynote: The State of the Dump

Sir Reginald Flush III, Founder & CEO

A sweeping overview of the data movement industry, where we've been, where we're going, and what's coming out the other side. Expect bold predictions and bolder puns.

11:00 AM

ShatGPT 6.0: What Comes Next

Dr. Ima Plopper, Chief Science Officer

The next generation of our Large Language Bowel is here. Multimodal input, 10x throughput, and the ability to process data that would make lesser models seize up.

4:00 PM

Closing Keynote: The Movement Continues

Amanda Rears, VP Data at LogJam Corp

A customer perspective on how turd.ai transformed their entire data infrastructure from constipated to free-flowing.

Hands-On Labs

WORKSHOPS
10:00 AM

Building Your First Colon-ial Pipeline

Beau Wellmovement, Sr. Engineer

A step-by-step workshop on constructing an end-to-end data pipeline using our Porcelain Cloud platform. Bring your laptop and a strong stomach.

1:30 PM

Advanced Stool Sampling Techniques

Dr. Dee Composte, Head of Analytics

Go beyond basic sampling. Learn stratified dumping, temporal stool analysis, and predictive movement modeling. Lab coats provided.

3:30 PM

Forma-turd Compression Masterclass

Phil McCracken, Infrastructure Lead

Cut your storage costs by 42%. This workshop covers our proprietary compression algorithm and how to squeeze every last bit of value from your data.

The Deep End

ADVANCED
10:00 AM

Brownfield to Greenfield: Migration Stories

Chris P. Bacon, CEO at Bottom Line Analytics

Real stories from real companies who migrated from legacy systems to turd.ai. Warning: some of these stories are graphic.

2:00 PM

Brown Eye View Pro: Enterprise Architecture

Stan Kworth, Lead Architect at Sewer Systems Co

Deep-dive into the monitoring and observability stack behind Brown Eye View Pro. See everything that flows through your system in real-time.

4:00 PM

The Future of AI-Powered Waste Management

Panel: Industry Leaders

A no-holds-barred panel discussion on where the industry is headed. Topics include autonomous pipelines, self-cleaning databases, and the metaverse of waste.

Speakers

The regulars.

RF

Sir Reginald Flush III

Founder & CEO, turd.ai

Visionary leader who turned a bathroom joke into a $1.2B company. Forbes 40 Under 40 Plumbers.

IP

Dr. Ima Plopper

Chief Science Officer

PhD in Computational Waste Theory from MIT. 47 patents in data movement technology.

PM

Phil McCracken

VP Infrastructure

Former NASA engineer. Designed the plumbing for the International Data Station.

BW

Beau Wellmovement

Sr. Staff Engineer

Open-source legend. Creator of FlushDB and the Porcelain Protocol.

DC

Dr. Dee Composte

Head of Analytics

Pioneer of predictive movement modeling. Author of 'The Art of the Dump.'

FT

Flo Terlet

COO, Porcelain Throne Ltd

Operations guru who scaled three startups from zero to IPO. Known as 'The Plunger.'

Perks

It's not all just hot air.

Swag Bag

Premium turd.ai merch including a branded toilet seat cover, 'I survived PU 2026' t-shirt, and a golden plunger USB drive.

The After-Party

Exclusive rooftop party at the Bellagio. Open bar, DJ Dump-n-Bass, and the annual Flush Awards ceremony.

Certification

Complete 3+ workshops and earn your official turd.ai Certified Pipeline Operator (CPO) badge. LinkedIn-worthy.

Networking Lounge

The 'Rest Room' -- a curated networking space where the best ideas flow freely. Catered by a Michelin-star chef (menu is fiber-forward).

Tickets

Secure your seat.

Early-bird pricing ends September 1st. Don't wait until the last push.

General Admission

$699

  • All keynotes
  • Main stage access
  • Swag bag
  • After-party
  • Lunch included
Most Popular

All-Access Pass

$1,299

  • Everything in GA
  • Hands-on labs
  • Advanced track
  • CPO certification
  • VIP networking lounge
  • Front-row seating

Enterprise Evacuation

Contact Us

  • 10+ team passes
  • Private workshop
  • Meet the founders
  • Custom demo session
  • Dedicated account rep
  • Logo on event signage

Don't miss the movement.

PU 2026 is where the future of data infrastructure gets decided. Whether you're a first-timer or a seasoned veteran, there's a seat on the throne for you.

Back to turd.ai

PU 2026 is a registered trademark of TURD.AI Inc. Not affiliated with Autodesk University, though we're arguably more full of it.